That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
