Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
