I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
