We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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