the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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