Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
