Your mouth is God's brothel.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize