ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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