I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize