and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
