at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
