Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
