Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
