how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
