so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
