i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
