Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
