I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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