this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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