AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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