I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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