wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
