I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize