Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize