I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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