This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
