For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
