Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
