he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
