i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
