Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
