btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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