No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
