I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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