I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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