the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
you inspire me to be a worse person
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
