wanna go halves on a baby?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
