Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
