i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
