I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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