What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
