I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
