she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
