Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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