So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
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