he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
