He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
