Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
