Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I will be naked everywhere
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
