Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize