HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
