so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
