forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
