It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
