Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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