The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
