We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
