I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
