I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
