Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
