I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
