The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
