I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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