He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
