Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
